Home Birth After Cesarean, A Healing Birth *graphic photos*

This is my birth story of Penny Lee.

Before I start, the story of my eldest child, Tegan, has to be included to understand the dynamics of my second birth. I had Tegan in September of 2012, and the birth was far from what I imagined. I was seeing care at the Phoenix Indian Hospital, which is staffed by midwives. It is extremely breastfeeding friendly, and even had a laboring pool. The staff was always supportive of my wish to have a natural birth. On September 13th, a perfect 40 weeks, I went in for my prenatal appointment. Tegan had turned breech, and the midwife was very concerned. I was young, a first time mother, and scared. They sent me to the OB where the measured my fluid, and told me there was no way to move this baby, and that if I were to even attempt to go into labor the chances of complications (namely cerebral palsy was brought up multiple times) would sky rocket. I wasn't even in labor. I never got to experience anything pertaining to it. To make a long story short, I was scheduled for a c section immediately.

I won't go into too much details of it all, but I always weep when I remember her coming out. Her cry. And what felt like the hours it took for me to hold her. I cried out, "My baby, my baby." I just wanted to hold her. Nick was able to do skin to skin as they sewed me up, and I just yearned for my baby. I felt incomplete. I felt wronged immediately.

It was soon I found BWF, and that I was no alone in my feelings.

When Tegan turned one, I felt I was ready. This time I was prepared, educated, and ready. We got pregnant almost immediately.  We chose to do a homebirth. I was never one for doctors, but my delivery of Tegan really solidified that for normal pregnancies and birth, I wanted nothing to do with a doctor. I found a really amazing midwife. She was calm, friendly, and I felt she got me and my nervous anxiety. I also found a really amazing Doula because I knew I would need all the help I could get.

The pregnancy was going swimmingly. Nothing of concern, nothing abnormal. But my due date was fast approaching. At 38 weeks, something felt odd. Really odd. I knew that baby wasn't head down anymore. Fear struck, my anxiety went through the roof. We took a ultrasound and sure enough, baby was transverse.  I cried. I knew what this meant. This meant no absolute way I would even be able to deliver vaginally. I cried some more. I went and I bought peppermint oil to apply to my baby and I did every spinning babies technique over and over again.

Still transverse. Nick and I talked long and hard, weighed our options. I felt that a external was too risky. I did decide I would still give baby time until we scheduled the c section. Then, a few days later, baby turned head down again! I was so relieved. But I was worried. I was getting pressured to be induced in order to deliver in favorable position. But after some rough emotions and mountains, I decided to let my body take charge and trust in it. The stress was intense. I felt I needed my vbac to move on, to heal. It was an extremely turbulent time.

Then, it became a matter of time. 42 weeks was rapidly approaching. I knew I would probably go over my date; but now it seems like even if I was able to give birth vaginally, I wouldn't be giving birth in my home as I could not legally go over 42 weeks. We discussed natural induction methods. Nick said something really funny at my appointment about the dates being wrong because he remembered a different due date. I went back and looked at my original post with my EDD. We had it wrong. But we had my last menses right! I was only 40 weeks! I had given the wrong date to my midwife! I was measuring big too, so we would have never suspected. But as relieved that our home birth was on the table, how frustrating to know WE WERE STILL WAITING! Can you imagine??? Lol.

By now, both husband and I were emotionally exhausted. I didn't know how to prepare for birth still as I felt I had been rung through. And yes, another week and a half went by and that 42 week stress approached again. Finally, two days shy of 42 weeks I decided to take castor oil in order to induce.

I took the castor oil with ice cream and orange juice, and it was not so bad. HOURS went by, and I hadn't even had diarrhea. It wasn't working. I was so frustrated. I told my midwife and I started to just feel defeated. I went to the bathroom around 11am, and when I stood up,

I felt a gush. But not a huge one. But a gush. I wasn't expecting my water to break as my first sign of labor. I called my midwife excited, but also worried it was just pee. But during my conversation, more came involuntary. It was my waters!!! Oh man was I so happy. And then, the contractions hit.

Oh, the contractions. I immediately was put on my knees, and over my ball. They were so intense. We tried measuring them, they were always short but always 1 minute apart. Finally only two hours in, I asked my birth team to come. I felt bad because we all were expecting me to have a very long birth, and here I was already calling the troops in. They of course did not mind, and instead came in with arms wide open to me. They prepared a soothing space for me and jumped right in helping me cope. Almost immediate I started to go into the shower as the water provided much needed relief.

My fantastic doula rubbed some essential oils on my back and it was so helpful. However, soon after I knew I needed to vomit. Thank goodness I was in the shower! My midwife reassured me that it was good-throwing up was the equivalent of 10 contractions!

From then, time was a blur. My contractions were so intense, and only 1 minute apart the entire time. I felt like I wasn't getting a break. I wanted to rest. I couldn't be in any position but hands and knees. I tried peeing on the toilet but the sitting position was excruciating. I ended asking for a towel and peed on it on my hands and knees! And soon after that, my bloody show came. I remember I got one contraction so bad, I "ran" on the bed and my midwife joked I couldn't run away from the pain! I needed to embrace it! (She was right of course!)

Well, we were only about 5.5 hours in from my water breaking. All of a sudden, I felt the need to push. I told my midwife. I was a little scared, because like I said we were expecting a long labor due to the fact I was a vbac and it was my first real labor. She checked me. I was fully dilated and ready to go!

We hadn't even set up the pool. They asked if I just wanted to go without it, but I felt I needed it. Nick hurried up to attached the hose to fill it up, and guess what? It was the wrong attachment. They told me I would have to go without it. HECK NO!

Instead, our bathtub is so large and deep I told them to fill up the tub instead. Like a eagle, Nick swooped and cleaned it up (We had the hose in their!), and started filling it up. I got in and started pushing.

Nick was sitting on the ledge and I put my face into him. I remember thinking, it is almost time. You got this.

And I pushed. I didn't scream, yell, but instead let out this super primal growl. I distinctly remember how deep it came from within, how powerful my pushes felt. I felt like a warrior. After a few pushes, she started to crown. I took my hands and felt her. It was amazing. I felt amazing. A few short pushes and she was coming. I stood up to grab her, and my midwife helped untangle her.

I had her!! Oh my god I had her. She cried, but was so quiet. She was so perfect. She just looked at me, she was so peaceful and happy. It was the most beautiful experience of my life. The start differences rang in my head. This was birth. This was a baby not torn away from their mother. The peace was astounding. Tegan came in and we introduced them.

From start to finish, it was only a 7 hour labor. We went to our bed where we delivered the placenta. I remember telling my midwife, no more pain!! Haha, I was wrong. What was amazing is during it all I was able to have Penny right by me, holding her in my arms. She never left me, which was so beneficial for the both of us.

The homebirth was amazing because I never left the comfort of my home. I was able to do as I please, and relax.

We knew Penny was big, but she weighed in huge. 22 inches, 15 inch head, and a whopping 10lbs 4oz. No perineum tearing, a small internal tear was all I had. I contribute my weeks of oil and stretching I did starting at 36 weeks. 

 

My birth team did all the clean up, and we were all able to curl up in bed as a family and fall asleep. I have to give the upmost credit and love to my Birth Team, Caitlyn Laney and Amy Webster. They were my rocks, and I don't think I could have done it without them. They facilitated all my wishes and dreams, and gave me healing I so desperately needed. 

Thank you for reading <3

Developmental Toys Ages 6-9 months

This is a fast pace age! By name baby is sitting up and crawling. Things are mobile and much faster pace (for them!). Toys now serve more than just sense discovery, they will be able to stack, move, and learn cause and effect.

The rainbow stacker

This classic remains true to this day. I am featuring Grimms Wooden Rainbow and I adore it's heirloom quality with beautiful rich colors. It still grabs the attention of my two year old. There are other version you can buy, however, the size, richness, and versatility is unmatched by the Grimms. Melissa and Doug Stacker

In combination to the stacker, wooden nesting cups will be a huge hit in this age. Not just learning to go in order of size, there is just something fun about taking apart these cups, addding items to them. 

Quality blocks, alphabet blocks, and mega blocks 

Yes that is a lot of blocks!! This is the age were they will start to learn the fundamentals of building. Balancing, creating, and having fun watching them fall. 

I always suggest Grimms wooden blocks. While pricey, I could never own anything else. They are sized large, perfect for little hands. They are hand sanded so they actually have GRIP meaning clumsy kids have a easier time building. Heirloom quality, they are also vibrant and beautiful!

Classic alphabet blocks are fun, long lasting, and adorable additions. I adore Uncle Goose's blocks. 

And mega blocks are your first introduction to interlocking blocks. Easy for baby to build with, an absolute must have! 

Large, simple puzzles 

Baby will also start to put simple puzzles together! I really adore Montessori style puzzles that are oversized and simple. Like this: 

Melissa and Doug make awesome large puzzles too 

Push cars

Baby will be able to push and control cars now! It is fun for them to coordinate where the car is going with thier bodily motion. Cars with 'handles' work best for small babies and as they get older regular cars work well! 

Activity center 

This is such a big hit! Everyone I know who has this adores it, and is very long lasting. Helps sitting babies motivate to stand and uses fine motor skills to push the beads! Great addition especially if you are right on space because it ha so many activities to do! 

Ball drop

Another classic that will last you ages developmentally! Such a great cause and effect toy that also encourages motor skills. There are a lot of choices but here are some of my favorites 

Sensory bins-play dough, water beads, slime, colored rice,  ect

I feel six months is a great age to really start introducing sensory play. This include more tactile and manipulative play. Cheap and fun, you can buy bins at the dollar store and fill with sensory items. I love this blog post for sensory gift ideas. 

http://mamapapabubba.com/2013/11/30/sensory-play-kit/

Developmental toys ages 12-18 months

Play kitchen

Magnets and magnet board 

Magna Tiles 

Art supplies 

Trampoline 

Water easel, magnet easel 

Basic skills board 

Squigz

Reusable stickers 

Realistic Animal Figurines 

Kinetic Sand

Museum and zoo memberships 

More books and sensory materials! 

Developmental toys 9-12 months

This age is the hardest in parents as your baby is on the cusp of toddler hood and still being a baby. They are learning independence and seem to have more energy than ever!

Music box 
This is a great age to introduce rhythm, songs, and making your own jams! We love Melissa and Doug Set and we added Plan toys drum

Rainbow blocks

Now is a good time to add to your building block set with these wonderful translucent blocks. Use them in the light, teach colors, and build. The entire Guidecraft block collection has amazing rainbow blocks using Water, beads, and sand

Prince lionheart rider
Trust me on this one, this will help get energy out, improve motor skills for a long time to come in a adorable package that is great for indoor use. Mouse Rider

Indoor slide 

Although I adore the Ikea Virre wood slide, they don't seem to be available anymore. A Little Tikes slide works just as well. Let them figure out how to get up and down, and even up the slide.

Ball pit
I am going to link a wonderful 1st Birthday Present my Mother got Tegan, it is a slide and ball pit. Let me tell you, it is worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY AND EVERY HOUR IT TOOK TOGETHER (which was about four, so many pieces!) this over a year later is such a huge it, with kids of all ages. Active Play Set

Rocker 
Another physical toy to get those babies going. It might seem scary at first especially with this age group, but relax and see amazing stuff happen! Will last you years. Bella Luna Toys

Shape sorter

And probably not the one you think. The box shape sorters are nice, but can be confusing as children have to learn the shapes go on the sides as well. I prefer a flat lay shape sorter such as Hape

The truck

Every kid needs a truck. Green Toys and Metal Tonka

Water and sand table 
Through experience, I prefer my sand and water to actually be seperate. I suggest getting a simple sand box, and a table like this for water play

Dolls 

Waldrof, Montessori, there are many styles to  chose from. I am not going to link every one, but rather do a doll that you find appealing as well.

Latch board
Melissa and Doug latch boards are amazing. High quality, they will keep your child enterained for at least a full year, as Tegan is over 2 and still loves her. Fine motor skills and critical thinking to figure out the mechanisms. 

Developmental Toys, ages 3-6 months

Ah, it is the age of 'enlightenment,' where your baby is learning about their body and its abilities. This is such a fun stage!!! Mobile, sitting up, it is a age to encourage them to discover new things and use their bodies in new ways.

Please note I suggest soft knit rattles and animals in my 0-3 month post, but they also serve this age group as well! Now that your baby can see better you don't have to get such visually contrasting faces. Here are some of my favorites for older babies: 

Teethers. 

It is that age as well! The painful teeth. I have yet to try all these teethers, but through research these seem to be the top rated. Again, I try not to go for gimmicks but for simple items. Bonus if they can be used as grasping toys. 

Wood Teethers are simple, easy to hold, and beautiful!
Grimm's Wooden Teether

Wooden tweeter with "bunny ears," add a wonderful companion to the wood by providing soft cotton to help chew. You can wet the material and freeze to soothe aching gums. I included a Amazon link, but Etsy has amazing ones too
Bunny Ear Teether

Natural rubber Calmies will help soothe gums and this style helps baby grasp.
Natural Teether

Wood rattle toys:

Baby is learning to control toys, and these wooden toys provide a gentle rattle that make them fun to shake. Later you can use them for display, imaginative okay, and in music baskets!
Llama
Endangered Animals

Baby Paper:

Such a simple gift with a huge impact! Babies love the crinkle of this "paper," and it is easy to grab with many different visually stimulating prints. Play peek a boo, hide toys, and simply enjoy the crinkle! 

Sensory balls:

So much fun! They say the ball is the world most perfect toy, and I agree! 

Soft knit balls are fun to toss, clutch, roll around and provide visual stimulation. You will easily find toe two year old still playing with these.
Gund Rattle Ball
Grimm's Organic Ball

Knub balls are perfect for tactile sensory play. Roll, toss, then gently toll the ball on babies back and stomach. These balls will last you multiple kids!
Edushape

Sensory ball packs are a great simple addition. Easy to put in a basket for play, they have a variety of textures and materials that will provide stimulation for months to come.
Infantino Balls
Sassy Development Balls

Simple board books

While babies loved to be read to right away, now is a good time to buy their 'own' books to investigate. Simple pictures and plot lines will have baby interested and develop a love of reading.
Dear Zoo
Brown Bear, Brown Bear

Also, we love board books with touch and feel aspects
First Words
Baby Animals

Melissa and Doug Bug Jug

This has been the biggest hit with every kid I know. Object permanence is still not a 'thing' at this age so they get a huge hit discovering they can pull toys in/out. The animals also crinkle or rattle adding another dimension. This is a toy that developmentally is lasting well into over one. 

Stay tuned for 6-9 month category! 

Developmental Toys, Ages 0-3 months

It is that time of year! You are wondering what to get your little ones for Christmas. For there is one shortage in the world, it is not toys. Everywhere you look there are different toys for this, that and the other! It can be very overwhelming.

In our house, I like to examine each toy we bring into our house. What purpose does it serve? Is it visually appealing? How long will it last? 

That is how I constructed my list of toys. They must serve a defined purpose; such as fine motor skills, object permanence, ect. They must be visually pleasing to both my child and I. And they must serve a wide range of uses because nobody wants to spend money on a toy that won't last a month. 

First list is what to get littles 0-3 months. You will notice most of these toys also serve a larger age range (again, we want that!) but would be best bought around this specific age group to get the most of your money. Since babies are more keen to play with you at this age, this is the shortest of the lists and includes more "gear" than toys. 

First up: Land of Nod Play Gym

No longer will you have to suffer at those bright, overly busy play gyms. This was my number one pick when we were pregnant with baby #2. First, it is extremely pleasing to the eye for both child and parent. It is sturdy wood and will easily last a few babies. And it is easy to hang different toys and objects from the gym. We bought the animal set that Land of Nod also offers and we are also in love with the quality, appearance, and use of them as well. But the biggest hit was the  Octopus.  It's a great size for both the gym and play on its own, the tentacles provide tactile stimulation, and has a lovely gentle chime when shook. You can use a silver bell to hang, Montessori style, or black and white cards. I also hang teething necklaces. 

*I feel adding a mobile is too redundant as the gym works in the same ways. However a simply Montessori style mobile is a great visual toy. Stay away from overly busy, bulky mobiles. Die cut shapes that are easily seen and 'float' rather than move are much better for baby.*

Babies vision out of the womb is not very good, and they can only see black and white high contrast images. While your smiling face is the most important visual tool at this age, Black and White Cards are also fun. The art work is modern and adorable, and you will be surprised how your new baby will concentrate on them! Bonus that you can use them as wall art, and identifying cards when they are older. There are a few to chose from on Amazon, many of them with different themes!

Wool/Sheepskin Rug

No, this isn't a toy. But it's been a huge hit in this house. A investment piece, we loved cradling our newborn in the sheep skin for its softness and temperature regulating, and now at three months it makes a comfy play mar under the gym. Quality is important, you do not want a high pile (suffocation risk, especially during tummy time), and one that uses a lot of chemicals. Eco wool is naturally tanned in the sun using no chemicals, the perfect pile height, and luxuriously soft. 

High contrast and/or soft rattles and animals

Again, since babies vision is poor, you want to go with something that will be clearly visual to your little. 

Although there are some plastic high contrast rattles that are very good additions such as:

Rattlin Ring
Spin and Shine

However, I prefer knit rattles/animals. First, have you ever seen a 3 month old with good coordination? Plastic toys can be heavy and discouraging for use when a baby accident toy hits them self with it. Knit raptors are soft, light, and easy to manipulate. They will continue to be used as lovies, teethers, and knit animal friends later in life. So already they have more use than the plastic versions. I find them, in my opinion, much more visually pleasing as well. Not all knit rattles are as high contrast but it is easy to find simple rattles that will be easy for your baby to see. Here are some of my favorites: 

Panda Knit
Tiger Knit
Pebble Bunny
Under the Nile Organic Animals
Lion Rattle
I have this and it is a huge hit: Sheep Rattle
I also have this and adore its large size: Panda Rattle
And this may not be as high contrast as I normally like, but I think I have to have it!!! Gnome Rattle

Wood clutching toys 

I debated putting this on 0-3 months or 3-6 months, as baby will be around 3 months before these become played with. I decided to add them here because it's always best to buy ahead of development than behind! Clutching toys are the beginning  of strengthening hands for fine motor skills and coordination. There is a large variety of toys, the most popular being Haba Magica or the similar Grimm's Grasper, and Manhattan Skwish. They are still easy and light enough for small babies to paw at and will be very useful for the following year. I find my two year old still playing with both from time to time! I would recommend a trio of this set including the Magica, Skwish, and one other of the many  grasping toys such as the Haba Triangles, Kringelings, or Color Whorl. There are many options but three is company and you will find any more will just be repetitive. These three vary enough to justify buying them all and will keep your little busy for at least a year. 

Unbreakable mirror/wall mirror. 

Who doesn't like to look at themselves in a mirror? Babies love it! There are many unbreakable mirrors on the market but we have been enjoying these beveled edge mirrors we got from Lowe's: Mirror

We glued them to the wall with liquid  nails. Not only does baby get a reflection to play with, but for our toddler it expands her block play with reflective patterns and mirrors images! 

A Wind Chime.

I know what your thinking. Really Myia? What hippie BS is this? But go to your local store and pick up a cheap chime. Hang it in babies view and blow on it gently. You will see why I say wind chime. It is both visually and auditory pleasing and fascinating for baby.  

If you are into beautiful chimes, this wind chime on my list this year. It is made of rainbow glass and is so visually appealing I can't stand it! It is super affordable as well. I plan on hanging it in the window of my playroom, so the sun will shine through the glass cascading the colors, and when a breeze enters the window (or I have my ceiling fan on) it will gently chime. 

That concludes my best toys for ages 0-3 months! I hope you enjoyed it and it has given you ideas! 

Magnetic Blocks reviews: Magna-tiles, Magformers, Smart Max and Tegu Blocks

For Tegan's second birthday, I finally decided to invest in magnetic blocks, and I honestly wish I would have sooner! I chose to buy three small sets of three brands, Magna Tiles, Magformers, Smart Max,and Tegu Blocks. I wasn't sure which ones would suit us as all three sets really do different things. I'll be doing a in depth review of each on separate posts as the review might get lengthy. First up, Magna-Tiles! 

Magna-Tiles-$75 for 48 piece DX set (includes some "special" pieces like a door and car)

So Magna-Tiles hold the title of the king of all magnetic building blocks, and it is true. Magna-Tiles are thick, sturdy, and the magnets are powerful. The price reflects this; however I would consider these a "heirloom" quality toy-as heirloom as plastic can get! These will easily last multiple kids, and because they can serve such a large age range it is SUCH a good investment. We had a one year old friend play with these intently, as well as us adults!

I took these photos JUST this morning as she was playing with them!

What does Magna-Tiles work best for? Building structures! And large, fun ones at that. You can't find a better set to build structures, because of the powerful magnets it is easy for a young toddler to build houses. You can let your imagination roam and build castles, forts, you name it. That is what makes these tiles so great for many ages is the ability to make simple or complex designs. As you will see in my next reviews of the Tegu Blocks and Magformers, these are the best and maybe only blocks to build such structures. They are not good for building things such as 3D images, such as animals, flowers, ect.

Even if you don't have a light table, they look beautiful in sunlight!

However, some people will ask if they should just invest in Magna Tiles before wood blocks and the answer is NO! There is one plus/minus and that it is easy to build with. If you start your child off with these, they might get frustrated with traditional blocks. Traditional wooden blocks provide much needed motor skills, as well as patience, and above all, deep problems solving, "Why did my tower fall over?" While magnetic blocks can also foster this, they don't replace wooden ones. Also, they don't replace Mega Blocks (large "baby" legos) or Legos themselves. It is important to understand that really they all foster specific and different skills!

 You will need a large set. These 48 pieces were not enough, I also suggest getting a classic set rather then the DX set for your starter. An "Ideal" collection would probably have 200 pieces, but you can easily start off slow and build your collection. We are planning on buying her another larger set for Christmas. The tiles ARE large though. Bigger than you might think!

Easy to build

Don't forget they have a "Ice" and "Black" set that although not as cost efficient as buying a large set, are a fun addition to the collection. Frozen lovers will love to build castles with the Ice set!

They also have a "Solid Color" set that tends to run $10 cheaper than the transparent set. We chose the transparent set because we plan on using them on the light table, but if that isn't a worry for you go ahead and save the $10!


I have had some people ask me about Picasso Tiles, and for $40 cheaper they will catch your eye. However, they are not worth long term investment. If you are on a really tight budget, only have one or two children, these will work. But if you are like me and have young kids with more in the future and want a set that truly last through the years, it will be better to invest in Magna-Tiles. I also had a few crack on me. The magnets are not as strong as Magna-Tiles and larger structures are harder to build, as well as younger kids will get frustrated they don't "connect" as easily.

I was also recently told about Play Mags with a positive review. Not as strong or as thick as Magna-Tiles, but much better than Picasso Tiles. If I get my hands on a set, I'll update the review, or if you have a set let me know what you think!

I think any STEM focused family, or a family that simply enjoys building, Magna-Tiles are a MUST in your toy bin. If you had to chose ONE magnetic block to buy, I would also suggest Magna-Tiles due to the versatility in age range, quality, and building ability.

Let me know what you think of Magna-Tiles!